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Prahalad Rajkumar's avatar

This superb book changed how I view life. I was the poster child of fixed mindset. This book opened my eyes and I’ve since then tried to see the error of my old ways and develop a growth mindset.

Admittedly I haven’t actively applied this to bridge (yet). But the idea that it is possible to level up is verily growth mindset.

And when you go down in a cold contract and the peanut gallery has a gala time at your expense? Fixed mindset: “I suck. I will never get good at this game.” Growth mindset: “Let me identify why I went down. Maybe I need to practice more hands. Or get more sleep or work on my stamina …”

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Adam Parrish's avatar

Sounds so simple... much harder in practice.

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Prahalad Rajkumar's avatar

Absolutely— easier said than done. I’ve been making mistakes lately that would’ve shocked my earlier self, and in the moment, it feels awful. But I’ve learned to bounce back more quickly, reminding myself that if I keep putting in the right kind of effort (my current effort includes practicing card play problems, doing bidding contests like MSC and real bridge, and discussing the thought processes with groups of friends), the process will take care of itself. Eventually, I want to make sleep, fitness, and meditation a part of the process too.

I attended a Tony Robbins event just before COVID hit, and he said something that stuck with me: it’s okay to feel bad, but don’t stay there too long. That really shaped how I respond to setbacks now. I don’t let my mistakes define me.

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Barbara Andry's avatar

Thanks for your honesty Adam…

I’ve worked hard in academics but never let on how many hours I studied so I would look “smart “.

I’ve just gone back to playing f2f.

I get nervous and afraid of looking stupid when I play against the better players

I can “save face” when I play in BBO and don’t score well .. but at the bridge Club there are a lot of egos ( and I have a sensitive one as well 😉. )

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Adam Parrish's avatar

I always say that you can't let ego get in the way of your bridge. Mistakes are just too common. It's all about dealing with those mistakes and learning from them.

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Barbara Andry's avatar

So , I tell my “ Roger “ that everyone here had to start at the beginning to become better players … and to keep learning and filling in the gaps of my knowledge as I continue on . Thanks again Adam, I always learn something from your postings and enjoy receiving them .. soldier on 😃

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Adam Parrish's avatar

Thanks, Barbara.

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Dee Fulton's avatar

A very honest self-evaluation.

Good on ya.

I guess this is new information? But the part about working hard is consistent with so many success stories. To be very good at anything requires 10,000 hours, right? (Per Malcolm Gladwell, 10,000 Hour Rule). How to Achieve got the spotlight while How to Not Achieve remained in the shadows, unnamed.

'Growth' and 'Fixed' are just new tags for what we already know. I guess the new part of things was seeing yourself in the Fixed category .....the Ah Ha moment.

The question is "How can one practice effectively?".

Check out the TED talk "How to practice effectively....for just about anything', by Bosler and Greene. It's interesting that anatomical changes to the brain develop with repetition of practice and that those changes (myelin thickness) can be measured. Practice literally leads to growth. But it has to be quality practice, working on the edge of capability, with focus. So I guess I need to turn off the TV when I'm playing against the Bots for practice. Practice isn't just about the skill it seems; it's about the ability to focus also.

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Adam Parrish's avatar

I'll check it out!

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